Going to Florida

I forgot to mention that I am going to Florida for Spring Break (with Ryan and my mom to visit my grandparents)! So... dear friends -- be safe and warm without me. You're responsible for holding down the fort.
We're braving this weather all the way down to Virginia to catch the autotrain!

They are SO wrong!

I read the descriptions of the disorders and really most of those don't describe me (except for the dependent one but we all have to have something don't we?).

Personality

I took a number of personality disorder tests today. Here are my results:

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

I am highly dependent and obsessive compulsive. However only moderately nacrcissitic. That's because they didn't ask if I have a blog that attempts to promote my own fame. Maybe that would have pushed the score over the edge.

Want to be crazy too?

RANTING AND RAVING!

1) American Idol tonight was totally bullshit. Ryan Seacrest told the first row of guys that they just had to sit and relax and then after going through the whole line of guys from the other row -- went back to the first row and just named a guy who was the loser of the night! Anyway, I didn't explain that well but it was DICK MOVE. If Ryan asked me if I wanted to sing one last time I would say: No thanks. How about you just go f&*@ yourself and that will fill the last 3 minutes of the show. PEACE OUT.

2) John Mayer BLOWS ASS. Daughters is the biggest JOKE. And then it won the Grammy for best song of 2004. The message is: if you are a white guy, you can put out any SHIT and you can win a GRAMMY. (Sorry, Kanye. Maybe next year. Especially since your diction was better than John Mayer even when your JAW WAS WIRED SHUT.)

Here is my tribute to Daughters because it truly is the worst song I have ever heard.
I know a girl = over 50% of the population is female
She puts the color inside of my world = without her I have a vision problem
and she's just like a maze= she is an obstacle for mice
Where all of the walls all continually change = like the display windows at the Gap

And I've done all I can = I've tried nuthin' and I'm all out of ideas
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hand= I love cliches
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me= "Its not you, its me."

Fathers be good to your daughters = family harmony is preferable
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers = children should have children
So mothers be good to your daughters, too= everyone else is doing it

Ooh, you see that skin = you have a dandruff problem
It's the same she's been standing in= that is deep like snow
Since the day she saw him walking away = which was onset by stress
Now she's left cleaning up the mess he made = maybe a broom will help

So fathers be good to your daughters = family harmony is preferable
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers= children should have children
So mothers be good to your daughters, too = everyone else is doing it

Boys you can break = this is not a song about sons
You find out how much they can take = i will try to get a Grammy for my next song entitled Sons-- do you think they will fall for it twice?
Boys will be strong and boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from a woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man, looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
When you have a daughter be good to her because some day when some other man has his mid-life crisis and is looking for a 20-something year-old he will want a girl whose father loved her so much that she became a lover

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too = Three CHEERS for redundancy!
So mothers be good to your daughters, too = Three CHEERS for redundancy!
So mothers be good to your daughters, too = Three CHEERS for redundancy!

Living Room Continued

Here is the lamp to go with the couch and chair.

Here is the desired kitchen table and chairs:


And here is one of my favorite commercials.

Chair!

This is the chair that would sit happily next to my dream couch. I also found on LaZboy another couch quite similar to the dream sofa (possibly better). I know these are boring posts but my real life (filing out bar applications, paying bills, going to class, watching maddening amounts of television, eating huge quantities of indian food, trying to work it off at curves, trying to keep up with my ever growing mounds of laundry, spending time self-diagnosing myself -- I have neurotic excoriations by the way -- and constantly refreshing the craigslist apartment page because I am eventually moving in August hopefully to Montclair even though I've only been there briefly once) is kind of strange and boring. So do you like this chair?

Dream Couch

I have a dream of owning a BEAUTIFUL couch. Thomasville sells the one I've been dreaming of. And here it is -- in the fabics I have chosen:

coffee

yesterday i was completely off the wall. i was hungry all day. i had a headache. i nervously chewed a whole pack of gum. i drank about 6 cups of coffee. what i didn't realize was that the coffee was DECAF.

LESSON: if you are hooked on coffee, do not accidently switch to decaf -- it will ruin your day.

In other news, my poor puppy is sick. He has a cyst that is infected and he is a sad sad baby now. All he did today (aside from go to the vet) was lay on the kitchen floor on his bed with his belly up so that nothing would touch his very red swollen cyst. I felt terrible leaving him but... I had to go back to Newark... and he's not really my puppy (don't tell him that) but my mom's so he lives in Brooklyn. I'm SURE Louise and Mommy will take good care of him.

dear blog, i am updating

it has been a rough week so i haven't updated. but i'm here now. i've been a useless waste of space today. i was eating a lot and then realized that maybe i should just chew gum. so i'm 1/2 way through a pack of Orbit Spearmint. Nice work, Mary. 7 piece of gum so far.
I joined CURVES this week! I didn't belong to a gym b/c ... I guess b/c I'm lazy and also prior to not belonging I belonged to 2 gyms. So... now it is Curves. I went 3 times this week and it was pretty fun.
I'm really a serious grouch today so I'm going to end my posting here.

Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall

I would love to have a long title like that. That would be sweeeeet.

So I've been thinking about my new car. How about this one?

Update

I'm pretty much over my sickness now. Other than that I really don't have much news.

My mom is planning on renting a vacation house in the Catskills instead of at the shore this summer. Some of the options look awesome - like old farmhouses and converted barns. And in my excitement, I somehow picture myself stealing away from the heat of the dingy city with a bag packed with only a swim suit and my index cards and bar prep books scooting north in my little Subaru... but that might all be a dream. I may not actually have TIME to go ANYWHERE while studying for the bar.

Dog Sick as a Dog

(For some reason I just assume that people coming to my blog want to see pictures of me. Anyway...) I'm sick. So sick that my right eye is tearing and the lid is starting to look bruised and I have a headache on that side of my head. Wish you were here with me? Mwwah!

uncomfortable but happy

The OC makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

Health Report

I'm still goddamn sick. My throat is all swollen and I am coughing and I have chills. Does that sound like fun? Aren't my co-workers lucky that I didn't go into work today?
But what am I going to DO today? I slept from 9pm-730am. And before that I slept from 2-4. And the night before I slept from 12am-8am and then from 9am-1130am. That means that within the past 24 hours I have slept 17 hours. Could that possibly be RIGHT? No -- it isn't right... I'm just delirious.

I'm SICK

I am getting a COLD! And I blame it on the plane. All that recycled air and cramped quarters canNOT be good for you. So Ryan got me grapefruit juice last night and I am (this morning) rounding the bend to finishing it already. "Oh Vitamin C, please boost my immune system so that I do not feel sick all week and weekend."