Consciousness

I think I need to make a more conscious effort to be HAPPY and do things that MAKE me HAPPY. I'm a super-grouch. And I kind of think that I might be schizophrenic. (For those of you that are "mental health conscious" and think that I'm using this term lightly to mean that I am moody, please lay off b/c I'm not using it in the slang). But it could just be that I'm really nervous lately. Aside from that time that I thought God wanted me to buy the newspaper, I haven't had any other real hallucinations. I occasionally think I see someone / a shadow behind me and I get very nervous about it. But it is nothing concrete and it doesn't talk to me. Or tell me to DO things. Thank God.

I notice that I don't get a lot of comments anymore. Am I freaking people out w/ my alternating between psychosis and Idol results? I understand that I don't have a target audience -- unless it is the "paranoid reality tv watchers."

Right now I am TRYING to do work but I couldn't fall asleep last night (nerves / anxiety) and so I slept late and I'm also downloading more of my CDs into my iTunes -- right now the Pixies and Matt Pond PA are finally making it into the iTunes. How sad for me that they weren't there for so long! "The Nature of Maps" - the Matt Pond album is just a delight. Ahhh.