Yes, Mom! I *AM* Doing My Work.

Hmmm. I promise I am getting back to the books. But just 2 words: rubber - man. Google these words and you will find the most frightening links. Promise.

Maybe I'm Working It Out

MY HEAD
I had a dream last night that my head was cut off ... like at the throat all clean across and then I just finished it off. So I was walking around trying to balance my head that wasn't attached anymore.

"Headless - A beheading or being headless or having your head cut off may symbolize punishment, punishing ourselves, unconsciously, as a result of guilt feelings or emotions. The dream may be showing you a negative pattern in your life that needs to be death with. It could also symbolize a need to get free of a too dominating head-you rely too much on your intellect and neglect your instincts" from a dream dictionary

I don't think the intellectual thing applies... although I googled my dream so obviously I over-think things. What's worse is that my plan was just to immerse myself in school-work because I haven't been doing anything except butt-sitting lately. I think I'm going to still take that route.


THE JOB SEARCH
I sent out all my junk to the judges on Friday and I already got 2 interviews! Yippy! One in Newton NJ (I know... where is that? you ask. It is in Sussex. From what I have heard it is pretty rural. I would love it if I had friends nearby. I don't want to be too lonely.) and the other is in Jersey City (which means I would still be close to the ones I love... the ones I have left... since I have become the most unavailable friend).


THE SEARCH FOR JOY
I think what I need to do is start to search -- like actually search -- for joy. I'm not looking for the joy that comes from smokes or booze or sex (though those joys have their merits). I am looking for the Deery Lou type of joy. The how-ya-doin-world type of joy. Maybe the type of joy I had when I was a kid on Halloween.

I can't wait for joy to come to me. I just don't know where I should start searching. A wise person would say: Search for joy within yourself. So here it goes... I will petition joy from myself:


Dear Self:
I am in the pursuit of joy. I wonder if you might be able to give me an indication as to where I might find that.
Even if you just have contact numbers of joy-experts with whom I may be able to speak, that would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks a bunch. Go have lunch.
You

Suck the Life

I am very obsessed with Text Twist. The good news is that tonight I
got an all-time best score for me of 233,440 so I probably won't have
to ever play again. I know that I won't get better than that... or at
the very least have the patience to pay a game that long again.
WARNING: do not start to play this game b/c it will suck the life out
of you.

Your Mother's Ass

This is what I want to become. I was thinking that I would love to go to finishing school. Lord knows I need it. And I want a neck like a swan. Will they give me one at graduation with my degree in etiquette?

I am so spaced out today. As I have been reporting, I am really out of it lately -- like stressed and generally down. So the result is mainly headaches. And I took one of my hard-core headache drugs today that the hospital prescribed to me back in January (because I ran out of my free sample of Imitrex). These pills make me feel like I have cotton-mouth and my head feels like cotton too. In some ways I like it because they make me happy. A woman stopped to ask me for money on my way home (no surprise since I live in Newark) but I had such trouble comprehending what she was saying at first that I stood there and just stared at her. WOW right? Yeah wow.

Shouldn't They Be Related?

Ashley Johnson and Joan Cusack look alike. Don't they?


Wouldn't it be great if they were related?

Torment

there are so many hurricanes lately. maybe the world is throwing up on
itself.

Deery Lou Tears

The first time I ever saw Deery Lou I cried. That's right. I thought she was so cute that I cried. What put me over the top is that she is a "cheerful fawn" and I saw a picture of her that just said the word "gentle."

I Found the New Me at the Mall

This is the new and improved look intended to reflect my impending career as a lawyer. Do I look a little lawyerish? And this is only ONE of the many outfits I bought today as if I have a steady income.



As you can see, although I may look very glamorous, I am still a goof.

I went out for dinner tonight in Hoboken with my dear friend Meghan and her boyfriend Declan. Ryan is always pleased to get out whereas I usually needed to be convinced, guilted, and must be informed well in advance. Because I am a couch potato. Here is my Meghan:


And Ryan:


AREN'T YOU HAPPY I GOT A CAMERA-PHONE? hehe! It makes my life look interesting and fun. Ohhh you fools!

Thought Two: Yeehaw Shopping!

Today Sarah is taking me shopping here:

I have never been to the Jersey Gardens but it seems really delightful -- an OUTLET MALL -- those are two words when combined that have a phantasmagorical affect on me (take THAT spell-check!).

I am in so nervous lately. Like nervous-nervous. Did law school make my nerves shot? I'm like a big dummy -- I can only have one or two nerve-racking things happen simultaneously otherwise my system goes haywire. My current plan is to BUY THINGS. I know that people say that material things shouldn't be compensation for happiness but I guess that it doesn't hurt to try. Unless of course it does. Which it most certainly will. Mwwahahahahahahahah!

Thought One: Are we the same?

Don't Simon and I look alike? We have similar haircuts except he has
bangs. I think there is a distinct similarity.

Simon Is Adorable

Here I am testing out using Flickr! Now I can be LAZY and I don't have
to use all that fancy computer language. And Simon is adorable isn't
he?

Snip Snip Here

Today -- just another day. I *finally* sent out my resumes to family law judges! Phew. Now I'm sitting like a major bum on my couch (futon) and watching Seinfeld. What more could I ask for?

Click here for a RATHER GOOD time.

Pizza Party Picture and More

Today was a very busy and annoying day. I got a load of disturbing news. Since it is all pretty deeply personal all I will say is that family member of mine is sick and an old (estranged) friend going through a rough time with some private things. I'm worried about both so whoever reads, just keep your fingers crossed for them will you? I know that is what I am doing.

Now, as promised -- the pizza party picture:

Todd, My Sweet Bear, and Stuart (our kind host)

Is it worth it?

Is it worth it to post when I don't have anything to say? This morning: bills, schoolwork, school, clinic, (send out resumes) ... and then to Stuart's for Reality TV and Pizza!

Stupid Brain

My Brain is always bothering me. I think It should get used to life -- things are stressful -- so DEAL with it, Brain.

Anyway, my day was just like any ordinary day. I didn't have any big thoughts. Just a lot of family law classes. Some of those are annoying because there are jerks in class with me. It is interesting how they are unable to separate exploration of social policy and blatant value judgments. People make sweeping statements about what is "good for children" even if it contradicts what the parent thinks is best for the child. I say leave the state out of it. Who the hell is the government to tell people what their children should learn?

And that's all I've got for today, folks.